Leaving for holiday,I won't be here for 10 days.
Güzel kızım benim,
Tatile gideceğim için bugün veda etmek zorunda kaldım sana,herşeyden zor oldu bu benim için. Belkide 1 ay görüşemeyeceğiz belkide 10 gün sonra göreceğim seni belli değil ama çok zor olucak benim için. Bugün sımsıkı sarıldım sana ve sende boğdun beni biraz hatta fazlasıyla..bu üstümdeki yağ lekelerindende anlaşılıyor. İçim hiç rahat değil ama bu duyguyu daha öncede yaşamıştım biliyorum. Ama nefret ediyorum. Çok çaba sarfettim sana bağlanmamak için seni sevmemek için ama elimde değil. Seninleyken kendim oluyorum ben..Senin yanındayken her zaman gülüyorum ama bugün hariç. Kimsenin görmediği ve başbaşa kaldığımız o birkaç dk içinde sessizce bir iki damla gözyaşı döktüm. Senin üstüne çıktığım zaman cesur oluyorum hiç olmadığım kadar ve manilerin üzerindeyken güvende hissediyorum kendimi.
Şimdi çiftliğe koşup yüzümü yumuşacık tüylerine gömemeyeceğimi ve sana sarılıp sıcaklığını hissedemeyeceğimi bilmek beni deli ediyor. Zaman nasıl geçicek hiç bilmiyorum. Farkında olmadan o kadar bel bağlamışım o kadar alışmışımki sana uzak olduğumda boşluğa düşüyo içim, eksik oluyorum ben Jessica sensiz.
Seninle beraber daha önceden üstesinden gelemediğim o kadar çok şeyin üstesinden geldimki, o kadar çok şey öğrendimki senden. Sana canım feda, herşeyi yaparım senin için yeterki mutlu ol o kulakların her zaman dik olsun, o güzel gözlerindeki ışık asla sönmesin. Ben gözlerinin içine baktığımda o ışığı görüyorum kimsenin göremediği o ışığı ver herzamanda görmek istiyorum.
Seni çok seviyorum Jessica ve kelimelerle anlatamam bunu, iyi ki varsın. Sen benim bir parçamsın.
♥
Sıpacık!
I rode Jessica today but we didn't do any jumping, jumping is tomorrow :) Tomorrow Selin will come too so it will be fun, we'll pick her up in the morning and we will be together all day long ;) nice pictures are coming!
I rode Jess without spurs so it was kind of hard riding her at first but then I found the great speed with using the crop a bit and she was so perfect. She seemed to be lame while riding on the right side and Selin felt that too. Jess is doing that because she doesn't want to work sometimes but she doesn't need a rest, she needs to work and get over that problem.
Besides because of the new horse shoes she protects herself and changes foot while cantering on the right side and she canters in a weird way. It is really hard to sit on her because she is huge! I guess Selin and I are doing great work on her. Selin is used to ride big horses so she's ok but Jess was the first big big big horse I have ever ridden :D Anyway now I'm used to her style so no problem :) She also had a skin disorder and I will take a picture of it. I will look from my book Horse Care and name the problem but we think that she has an allergy for the shampoo so I didn't wash her today. We put a special medication, something black, and she tried to hug me with that on hahah :D My favorite t-shirt (the one that I'm wearing in the picture) is all black now! I will try to wash it in hand tomorrow.
I also rode Besni Bey without spurs so it was a tough day for me but cantering with B.B. was so fun! His seat is so confortable and he's very good in dressage only if you know how to use your legs and you should have extremely powerfull legs. I don't.. but still I can get him to work without spurs. Had a good lesson with Besni Bey too :)
I have to go and get some sleep now, see ya ;) !
I rode Jess without spurs so it was kind of hard riding her at first but then I found the great speed with using the crop a bit and she was so perfect. She seemed to be lame while riding on the right side and Selin felt that too. Jess is doing that because she doesn't want to work sometimes but she doesn't need a rest, she needs to work and get over that problem.
Besides because of the new horse shoes she protects herself and changes foot while cantering on the right side and she canters in a weird way. It is really hard to sit on her because she is huge! I guess Selin and I are doing great work on her. Selin is used to ride big horses so she's ok but Jess was the first big big big horse I have ever ridden :D Anyway now I'm used to her style so no problem :) She also had a skin disorder and I will take a picture of it. I will look from my book Horse Care and name the problem but we think that she has an allergy for the shampoo so I didn't wash her today. We put a special medication, something black, and she tried to hug me with that on hahah :D My favorite t-shirt (the one that I'm wearing in the picture) is all black now! I will try to wash it in hand tomorrow.
I also rode Besni Bey without spurs so it was a tough day for me but cantering with B.B. was so fun! His seat is so confortable and he's very good in dressage only if you know how to use your legs and you should have extremely powerfull legs. I don't.. but still I can get him to work without spurs. Had a good lesson with Besni Bey too :)
I have to go and get some sleep now, see ya ;) !
God morgon!
In 20 minutes I will go to the ranch and ride Jessica today. I guess Selin won't come so I will ride Jessy not Firyoza. Maybe we can do some jumping with her?
Flight Plan
Sometimes you have to jump off a bridge,and hope like hell that you learn to fly on your way down
Everything is made to be broken
Good morning! Haven't been posting for a while sorries. I have been busy this week with riding and all the license stuff got me stressed. Looks like I will miss the exam and that makes me feel horrible. Our plane to LA is on 6 August at 4am. The exam will be on 6th or on 8th... In anyway I will miss it but still I'm thinking of getting all the papers ready for it just in case they pull it to an earlier date. I don't think they will but I can't be sure of it either.
Last night we went to see Harry Potter again but this time dad wanted. He was so funny asking all the time "What's going on?" sometimes he couldn't keep up hahah :) I'm sad that the series are over because I kind of grew up with them. I grew up with Daniel,Emma and Rupert. We used to go and see the movies every year with the family. I will miss it :( When I was little I was the splitting image of Hermonie.
I totally looked like this but then she changed and I changed. We had the exact same hair which was funny :) But I never had the same character with her. I wasn't a nerd, I was hyper and I still am. I don't think that will change. And of course she's a lot more beautiful than me that's for sure!
This thursday we are leaving for Datça and I really don't want to go..I was planning to do diving this year but sometimes it scares me out after watching Sanctum over 1000 times :D
I won't be diving this deep I imagine but still I want to try it maybe I'll like it or I won't,we'll see.
Today I have a lot to do,have to buy some stuff for the holiday like books and blah blah blah(-Ke$ha). I will meet Nicole and we'll hang out a bit, I missed her and I won't be able to see her till the end of the summer. The thing is mom can't take us anywhere because we don't have a car (after the car crash our car is crashed).
It all ends
Never let me go
Jumped 105cm with Firyoza today and she was brilliant. You will maybe see the video on youtube but I don't guarantee because that jump sucked, my helmet was going to fall haha looked so funny! I will probably upload the video that Jessica hugged me in her own way like in the picture. Isn't it so cute?
Too honest too bad
I feel a bit frustrated but it is all my fault. Sometimes being too honest isn't good and last night I was a bit way too honest to a friend. I might have caused a little fight or maybe a hurricane I don't know but I really don't feel like riding at the moment.
I don't want to go to holiday to Datca,we'll stay there for 10 days but then we will come back and a week after we will leave again to LA. I will have to stay away from horses for a month! That is so long!!! Now I've come so far and I feel like I'll for get everything. I have been training so hard this week and I'm proud of myself and the horses of course.
Gårdagens program
Did dressage mostly, no jumping at all. I'm getting ready for the license exam part 2. Looks like I will have a good score. I'm used to Firyoza's style that's why I feel so confident with her. In jumping too I trust her a lot. She's sold but her owner lets me ride her :)
I also rode Salinero, a 3 years old horse,brother of Special Force. He gets scared easily but still he's a very good horse. I guess I will ride him again today and wash him :)
Selin rides Jessica because her horse Justin is lame at the moment. I can't do dressage with Jessica, she's made for jumping. Selin is a good jumper so she rides Jess and I take Firyoza as the dressage expert ;p I'm totally okay with Selin riding Jessica because she is a good rider and it makes me happy when experienced riders ride her. Selin is a really brave jumper so she goes with Jess easily. My horsie is happy, my friend is happy, I'm happy :)!
Eagle eye
Ranch ranch ranch
Spent the whole day in the ranch. I rode Jessica first with that cowboy hat :D That means I rode her without the helmet, it is dangerous but we were riding in the inside arena so it was safe in there. I rode her with the spurs and we cantered a lot! I wasn't scared at all and she didn't speed up. She made me feel all confident again. Riding her without panic felt so great,she was great! I knew I'd get rid of that speeding up fear but I never taught it would be that quick. I'm just so proud of us. We're a team.. and here you see a greater team :D
It's me and Selin hahah we look absolutely soo funny :D but it was fun riding together. We've been riding together since the beginning of time ;p
By the way I rode Firyoza today and we did dressage. It was wonderful, beyond wonderful but we trained so hard that I don't feel my legs at the moment. My sitting trot was perfect and Firyoza looked graceful. My trainer told me that I have to hold up my chin.
Lucky Bunny
http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3718159385/
-What is that ?
-This is your new lucky bunny.
-It's a beautiful taught Carly but I don't think it's the whole uuh..bunny that's lucky, it's just this section here, it's the rabit foor which is lucky.
-What is that ?
-This is your new lucky bunny.
-It's a beautiful taught Carly but I don't think it's the whole uuh..bunny that's lucky, it's just this section here, it's the rabit foor which is lucky.
Last Night
Went to dinner with the family and it was so fun. It was only me mom my sister and dad. My parents were phoning some friends but all of them were busy but I'm glad that they were. I don't like spending all my time with the family but sometimes it can be so fun. When it's limited of course otherwise... uh oh! Here! Some pictures ;)
mom and dad
me and my sister ( I think you're able to recognize us right ;p ?)
the wonderful view.. Sorry for the bad quality of the images. I took them with my phone so they are all blurry :/
mom and dad
me and my sister ( I think you're able to recognize us right ;p ?)
the wonderful view.. Sorry for the bad quality of the images. I took them with my phone so they are all blurry :/
RIP my 89 songs
Mistakenly deleted 89 songs from iTunes...and yes I have no idea how it hapenned but they were the best ones, the ones I spent hours to find...shit. It's unfair! This morning I downloaded 32 of them. Have a long way to go..
Victoria's Secret summer wear
Take a look at those!
I really liked this one, will take a look in the store in LA ;)
This one is lovely too but it won't look good on me like it looks on Erin..she's my second favorite model.
Loved this one too! I wish we were going to LA before Datça so I could have some nice clothes to wear there.
this one's ideal for the beach
well I have a white legging like this but it doesn't look like this on me :D I wish my legs were like this slim but because of riding I have a lot of muscles.
perfect outfit!
I really liked this one, will take a look in the store in LA ;)
This one is lovely too but it won't look good on me like it looks on Erin..she's my second favorite model.
Loved this one too! I wish we were going to LA before Datça so I could have some nice clothes to wear there.
this one's ideal for the beach
well I have a white legging like this but it doesn't look like this on me :D I wish my legs were like this slim but because of riding I have a lot of muscles.
perfect outfit!
I love you Rosie!
Jun 24, 2011 - Two years ago, when Rosie Huntington-Whiteley was shooting the Victoria's Secret Holiday 2009 commercial with Transformers director Michael Bay, little did she know there would be Decepticons and not just demi bras in her future. Get ready for some Angel and Autobot action this week, as Rosie makes her big screen debut in Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
...and move the fuck on!
Yesterday I talked with Aylin,actually I texted her while I waited my dad. We talked about someone I cared. The situation is very very complicated. It is all broken into pieces and for years I've been trying to bring them together,make something out of them. Sometimes we should let go of them because at some point it starts hurting us and it waists our time. We should move the fuck on right?
Today is saturday..Rebecca Black thaught me that =D
Hello everyone, it is windy today in here and I want to say again that I hate the hot weather. I'm trying to download Adobe Photoshop but it installs so slow at the moment. 30 minutes left... I still don't know the program of today but I had a very nice sleep today. A present from Jess...? because normally I don't sleep-can't sleep- when it is her birthday or if it's the day we lost her. Tonight I slept even better than normal. I woke up and read my book (House of Night series-started reading them last summer and they are awesome) then had breakfast and watched TV.
10 things I hate about you
Look what I've found!
A picture from New Year's eve :) It was a really fun night. Aylin stayed over and we chit chatted until sun rise heheh. We watched Victoria's Secret fashion show and I felt bad,looked at my tummy all night :D Anyway nice memory..
Today I didn't have fun at all, I went to fitness and didn't do cross trainer, didn't want to tire myself. I was sore in the legs so I didn't push hard. Well my legs are full off muscles so it's ok if I don't train for a day. Tomorrow dad doesn't have a flight so he'll be home and I don't habe any idea about what we're going to do. By the way I wore my new converse today and it totally killed my feet..shit,they hurt!
Happy Birthday Angel
Happy birthday Jessica, we all miss you so much. You teached me that friendship never dies..there's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. Sometimes I want to call you..still I do but I know you won't be there and that hurts a lot. Someday I will get over it. That day is nowhere near..rest in peace
Fun Day
I'm sorry that I couldn't post yesterday I was soo tired but we had a great day in the ranch with everyone! I went to Ece's house in the morning and she baked a delicious cake. We ate it in the ranch and I ate the most of it hahah :D Ece prepared some questions for Melis,she was going to enter the license exam(she passed yuppi!). Meanwhile I took some pictures with Selin and Just in time (her horsie). Justin pushed me away with his head but really hard, it hurt hahah! Then it was lunch time. We rode our horses after the lunch and played with Efe (the dog who jumps all the fences and nearly everything he sees).
I will be busy tomorrow but I will blog I guess, will tell ya more ;)
Nya converse
Time to wake up
The same as yesterday I woke up at 7.30am and read my book till 9.00am (longer this time) and finished it at last. Hasn't got a happy ending but I'm waiting the next one, it was totally exciting and once you start you can't stop even if your eyes are filled with tears from reading.
I just had my breakfast,didn't eat a lot actually. Today I'm going to the ranch with Ece,will meet her at 12 o'clock. I will post when I come back,hope we have a good day :)
I just had my breakfast,didn't eat a lot actually. Today I'm going to the ranch with Ece,will meet her at 12 o'clock. I will post when I come back,hope we have a good day :)
Words don't sink,it swims
I woke up at 7.30am and read my book a bit till 8.35am and still I was sleepy. Went to fitness with mom and my sister. My sister played tennis and my mom watched her than they left I stayed because her lesson is 45minutes and in that time I can only finish cardio! It wasn't enough for me so I think they went to shopping or whatever. My arms are killing meee. I wasn't too hard on the legs today because I don't want to get all stiff tomorrow while riding. I worked on biceps mostly but like I said I wasn't very hard on quadriceps. I tore my tendons in England (after a bad fall while hacking uphill) that is why I didn't want to put pressure but now I'm all fine still I guess I should be careful. No heavy exercising before riding ;)
After that I ate a sandwich in Nero (with meat). However I was planning to swim so I swam for maybe 40minutes. When we go to Datça I want to learn how to dive! That's why I'm practicing it a little in here. I'm good at holding my breath and swimming relaxed, I don't get panicked or anything but still trying breathe from those things makes me tense..just a little but I'll learn :)
Tomorrow I will go to riding with Ece. She'll take me from somewhere I don't know the exact location but I searched it from google maps. Still I'm not pretty sure about it. From one point I will take the taxi and it'll be a lot easier for me. They'll drop me home on the way back. It will be a fun day if...
Ece and Pastis :)
127 Hours
..not really exciting but it was a true story. The only thing I will say is he cut off his arm to rescue and that takes an enormous courage! If it were me I would have waited to die.
Angel
Seems like everybody liked picture :) Some of you wanted to learn where I bought the wings, the t-shirt and how I made the picture.
T-shirt from Victoria's Secret / Los Angeles
Wings from Euro Flora
Picture edited in picnik ;)
I hope you find it useful.
The Wedding :)
Oh my God we look nice don't we ? It's maybe our first picture that we both look nice hahah. It is me and my sister. Yes I know we don't look like eachother. No my hair is not orange it is something between yellow but goes a bit reddish sometimes. I'm telling you the answers before you ask the questions ;) The dress belongs to my mother and also looks better on her! I had hard times last night while sitting with that tight dress. It made me itch hahah :D but to be honest it looked really nice. I don't know what other people tought but I felt beautiful that's what matters to me :) This picture is beautiful! Why ? Because I have my sister beside me :) ♥
me,my sister and my mom. See the color of my moms hair, I love it! but she wouldn't let my dye my hair -.- thanks to her she didn't let me because I changed my mind so quickly about it. I wanted my hair that color for 3 days. Anyway that color looks wonderful on her.
me,my dad and my sister. Me and Seyma.. hahahah gosh two of us smiled the same way in all the pictures :D Seyma moved but I always stay the same. Pose of the night ;p
By the way the wedding was so wonderful, I was so touched. The bride and the groom came in a little cute boat ( the wedding was at the seaside) and with the music I felt like crying. I was so happy for them :) My mum knew the bride since she was a little kid so she was so touched too.
You were waiting at the egde of the unknown
Good morning everybody! Today I will be in home till 5 o'clock or 6 maybe,then I will be going to a wedding and will be wearing a blue wonderful dress :) I guess you've seen that dress before. I still feel a bit sick but I'll be just fine. I'll make my hair and do all the makeup... The thing is I don't really know how to do make up, I can just use the eye pencil and that is all. Oh what a girl :D ?
I will go and swim a bit theeeen I will take some picutures with my sister and edit them,will use the nice angel wings ;)
Transformers- Dark of the Moon
A MUST SEE MOVİE! WONDERFUL!!!!!!
Rosie's role was well played :) She' my favorite Victoria's Secret model. Most of the models really can't act but tonight I saw Rosie can!
Towers of the Void
Here it is! A pair of angel wings hahah. They weren't expensive at all. I bought them for photos of course I'm not going to put them on and try to jump off a clif to see if I could fly or not. This picture sucks I know but it's just for you to see the wings. Awesome photos will be taken with those wings..I hope.
Euro Flora
Went to a place named Euro Flora to buy some decoration stuff for home. It was moms idea of course but it was boring...I bought something nice but it will be a surprise haha, I think I will fail your expectations ;) you will see some pictures of it later.
This is so fucking original!Huh I was planning to buy it for our hamsters who passed away and put it under our big tree where we burried them :( It was a bit expensive but the thing is it is waaay too big to fit under the tree. In the photo it looks small but it isn't. I'll be back =D
My Sister's Keeper
This movie is based on the book "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Piccoult. This is from the back of the book: "Anna (Abigail Breslin) is not sick, but she might as well be. By age thirteen, she has undergone countless surgeries, transfusions, and shots so that her older sister Kate (Sofia Vassilieva) can somehow fight leukemia that has plagued her since childhood. The product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), Anna was conceived as a bone marrow match for Kate-a life role that she has never challenged . . . until now. Like most teenagers, Anna is beginning to question who she truly is. But unlike most teenagers, she has always been defined in terms of her sister-and so Anna makes a decision that for most would be unthinkable, a decision that will tear her family apart and have perhaps fatal consequences for her sister she loves.
Fuckin Perfect
I'm reading a book named Torment written by Lauren Kate, it is the second book of the Fallen Series. It talks about impossible love and it is like vampire books but fun to read, it's completely a summer book. You just go to the beach,have a lemonade in your hand and enjoy the book.
reading this one at the moment
