Pictures!
Welcome 2012 !
Christmas (:
Just had a wonderful day yesterday! I was with Nicole and we went to Taksim together. Bought some presents for my mom and my sister but still the present of my dad is missing. I have something in my mind though I have to realize that till friday! Anyway I learned my IELTS test result. It is 7!! Well considering that everybody said I couldn't pass 6 it is a really good result. Plus I had a really bad stomach ache that day,painkillers didn't work I guess. I'm pretty happy about it,all of it.
It's Nicole who took the picture like "Wohoo let's celebrate and take a picture of this happy moment!" hah it was cute. The picture is taken in the church. It was lovely inside.
Merry Christmas!
(picture from prick.blogg.se)
Merry Christmas everyone!! Today at last we have holidays and I still have a maths lesson... Well after that we will take my sister to a party and maybe I can go to the church. Will be lovely in Christmas! The weather is extremely cold but beautiful. I love the cold but yesterday I kind of froze while trying to walk to the bus station with my friend. We were about to fly because of the strong wind. It was worth it though,every second counted. We had so much fun doing silly things sometimes and then there were these serious talks too. I drank a strawberry milkshake and now I have pretty little freckles all over my face -.-
When I came home yesterday I was frozen because of the rain I was so wet that my mom tought I went to swimming with my clothes.. Anyway yesterday I felt oh so normal! Nothing about horses and the fall I had,no one pointing me with their fingers or people talking about this. I came home and read some mails and answered them. As much as I hate people who point me out, I love those mails!
Hey!
Mom came to my school yesterday for a meeting. It was really fun to spend some time with her after school and before my biologie lesson. We went to Cadde and ate pizza. I haven't been doing anything normal like this these days. It was pretty fun because there was no one staring at me or asking me what's wrong.
After the lesson I waited for my dad to finish his swimming training and I talked with my fitness teacher. Next week we're planning to start training a little because my muscles must work but the problem is that I still have a lot of pain. He said he'll make a special training program for me which includes swimming. Well,my muscles still feel sore and I don't want to have any extra pain and swimming causes that. The last time I tried to swim I had a smart in my back to my toe and it hurted so bad.
There are some purple marks on my skin all over my body but mostly on my hands and arms. My mom says it's because of the stress. I hope they disappear soon enough. Lucikly we're in winter and I can hide them easily with clothes. I really want to train a little next week because there will be no school and I'll have time to study for my lessons+SAT and I'll have time to buy some new year presents for my friends. I want to make the most of it.
I haven't seen Jessica for 2 months now and I haven't been to Horse Village. Though I'm not sure that I should go because there are some issues that I'm pretty mad about. It's just that I'm not ready to face some problems over there.
Christmas tree!
Built this with mum and decorated it with sis.
IELTS
IT'S OVER!!!!!
I was super pissed off the day they took this picture for my IELTS test hahah. You can understand it from my looks.
Yesterday there was the written part of the exam and the reading part was pretty tough. I think I did fine in writing and listening. Today I had the speaking and it was totally awesome. The lady who interviewed me was a little freaky but still I managed not to laugh. Will learn the scores in a month.
stress.se
Exams are over but now the most stressful part is beginning. The results! It seems like I will have problems in geometry and physics. I have probably failed them again. I hate those two lessons. It's not that I don't study for them but I just can't do it. Or it's abou the teacher because half of the class failed...Well then.
Next saturday I will take the IELTS and the week after there'll be the speaking part. I hope I do great!
Tomorrow is monday and I'm really not in the school mood. I was planning to do some practice for IELTS today and this weekend I did exactly nothing. I just slept and you won't believe it! I'm still sleepy. Well, trying to get my revenge from the exam weeks haha.
I don't really have much to say about weekend. I didn't even exercise. Have to change the way I feel somehow. Tomorrow we have PE lesson so will run quite a lot. I want to start riding soon. My body feels numb and I feel pointless without a purpose in life.
It's always the same routine now. School and home and school and home. I'm doing nothing different or exciting. Riding is gone now. I used to be a hyper girl and now I sleep in break time. Is that really me ?Is that who I am ? I don't think so. I just want to get back to normal. I want these nıghtmares to go away and I want my riding ability to come back.
I'm a little nervous about tomorrow. Will learn the grades. Not fun at all. I guess I will post in lunch break.
Going to get some sleep at last!
Had 14 exams in 2 weeks and didn't get any sleep. Last night I had a nightmare and woke up at 6am today. Didn't go back to sleep. My brain feels numb. I hear people but I don't understand them. It's like I'm going to die and still I can't sleep. Phew! What a hard week?! No updates on my back. Everything is the same for now but I'm planning to go back on horse in 2 weeks. U have my IELTS exam next week and the after I have the speaking part so wish me luck! If I have any time I will go and ride. I really want to do this. I also think that I'll be on a diet. But s special one for athletes to get stronger. Not for shredding up because I already did in these two weeks. I also have dark circles under my eyes but they'll go away if I have some sleep.
Why does it seem so far away?
Well I have nothing new to say...It's always the same these days or shall I say this month? Now it feels like impossible to get on a horse again. I watch my old videos and look at my pictures and all the time I'm like wow..It was me who did it all.That brave girl was me. I almost forgot what a saddle feels like underneath me. I miss the scars that reins would leave in my hands. I miss the pain in my muscles after a training. I miss the fear I used to feel while jumping a huge fence and I miss the joy I used to have after jumping it. I miss the smell of horses. I miss the smell of my horse, my Jessica.
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
My exams started and well they all suck for now unfortunately. In two weeks they will be over and I will go and see my Jessica. I don't know if I'll ride her. My life has changed a lot. I never imagined that one single accident would change it all, take away everything I had. I still can't believe what hapenned. What hapenned to me? What hapenned to I can do all things? I feel almost dead,unable to do anything. In P.E. classes people stare. It is still considered rude to stare at people right? Doesn't that apply to me anymore. I can't even talk to someone and tell them exactly how I feel. The pain is another thing and I'm pretty much tired of it because I can't even swim. On friday I went to swimming with dad and suddenly there was this sharp stinging pain in my back going down to my left foot. I couldn't swim to the stairs. My dad carried me out of the water.
R.I.P. Hickstead 1996-2011
Binicilik tarihinin en büyük atlarından biri olan Hickstead, dün koşulan Verona Dünya Kupası ayağında parkurunu binicisi Eric Lamaze ile tamamladıktan sonra aramızdan ayrıldı. Sporcuların talebi üzerine müsabaka durdurularak sahada 1 dakikalık saygı duruşu gerçekleştirildi.
11.11.11 make a wish
Went to Kemer Country on wednesday with my dad. Was a really nice day but unfortunately I caught a cold. Last night I didn't sleep at all and I went to school today. It was a total torture. Right now I feel a lot better thanks to mom and the medicines.
As you can see I went to see the horses again, we visited the big riding club in Kemer Country. I got to see some cool horsies and pretty huge riding arenas. It was a nice place though a lot of people kept staring at me. They knew me and knew them but I didn't go talk to anybody. I had the Master Swimming Team with me come on! That was so cool and they were all asking me when my next competition is. Their attitude made me feel a lot more better. I can't wait to get better and get back on the saddle!
New blog design! Hope you like it :)
Hey! Wow I'm super sorry that I don't post anymore but see changed my blogg design and I think it looks a bit too girly but I liked it, ok for now :) My dad helped me with the resizing of the picture for the header. I had a loot of trouble before hahah but now I'll use this one to make all the other headers.
Oh Mon Dieu !!!
What are you waiting for ?
Just had my breakfast (fresh fruits and omelet) and I'm planning to tidy up my room a little before going out to take a walk. Next week on tuesday I will be riding,finally' It's the first time that I've been away from horses this long. It will be a month on sunday. I feel weird but still my body feels stronger because my injuries are healing and I kinda feel powerfull. Swimming and running is the best way to strenghten your stamina.
Tomorrow I'm planning to meet with Aylin, missed her :) !
Another wave of doubt..will it pull you under,you wonder
What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?
What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?
When you take that first step into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go
So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too
I'm back agaaaaaiin =D
OMG I haven't been posting for ages! I missed it! I've been to LA and it was pretty nice out there. Had so much fun with all my friends. Missed the area my house and friends ofc, breathing the Marina del ray air..I wouldn't change that to anything. Here you get some pictures from LA :)
It's mom me and my sister in Manhattan Beach (there were pretty good waves out the to surf,went to observe them haha. They weren't huge or anything but still there were nice unbroken waves plus a rip current!)
me and Megan in the beach front of the cheescake factory. We call it the cheesecake beach hahah.
The New York hotel in Las Vegas and yes we've been on that rollercoaster, it was freakin amazing with the loops!
this is our beautiful ocean.... where I run and take walks.
me and Morgan. He is so cute isn't he ? :)
It's mom me and my sister in Manhattan Beach (there were pretty good waves out the to surf,went to observe them haha. They weren't huge or anything but still there were nice unbroken waves plus a rip current!)
me and Megan in the beach front of the cheescake factory. We call it the cheesecake beach hahah.
The New York hotel in Las Vegas and yes we've been on that rollercoaster, it was freakin amazing with the loops!
this is our beautiful ocean.... where I run and take walks.
me and Morgan. He is so cute isn't he ? :)
Our ranch is our home
Selin and Luna
Me and Luna
Me and Efe jumping (: and yes I look like Superman hahah
cutie!
me and Mikado. The other girl is my sister and the horse is Salinero
I'm back from Datçaaa :)
This year unexpectedly I had so much fun in Datça. Meriç made a suprise and came the second day. He was all sleepy and I kinda had to wake him up all the time. Aytek(our neighboor) and I ran a lot out there! It really killed my legs but it worked for riding because yesterday I went to ride Jessica (I MISSED HER SO MUCH ) and it felt really good. I didn't even get tired this time. That means I will be running in LA too. Wait for me Marina Del Rey, I'm comiiin'!
the view is wonderful isn't it ? I will miss Datça..I never tought I'd say this but I will and of course all my friends there. I won't be able to see Meriç maybe all year. Too bad.
